Rick K. & The Allnighters

I never thought I’d say this, but I envy the folks in Keshena, Wisconsin right now. Not because I have any great burning desire to escape the big city for the simple life of a podunk small town that’s frozen tundra nine months of the year and a mosquito-infested armpit the other three. No, I envy the cheese-eating yokels of Keshena because starting tomorrow night, for three amazing nights, they are going to get treated to the awesome rock ‘n’ sequins spectacle that is Rick K. & The Allnighters—American’s Most Exciting Show Band!

Now let’s face it: cheesy cover bands are as American as deep-fried Twinkies, and about half as cheap. And Rick K and his little band of classic-song-murdering stage bandits are about as cheesy as they come. So why, you may ask, are we gracing them with a place in our hallowed shrine to Weird Bands? One reason and one reason only: they have a drummer named Steve Moore, and the guy is a fucking madman.

If Steve were poundng the skins in say, Iron Maiden, he’d actually fit right in, and we’d just be all, “You totally crushed it, dude” and move on. But because he’s in this cheesy…no, let’s be honest here…fucking terrible “show band,” he sticks out like Keith Moon at my Aunt Trudy’s needlepoint club. Someone please rescue this man, shave his head, give him some tatts and a sleeveless Motorhead tee and at least find him a nice ’80s metal cover band to bash away in. Right now, it’s like watching a Rottweiler at the chihauhua kennel.

By the way, those June 3-5 shows in Keshena will be at the Menominee Casino-Bingo-Hotel. After that RK&tAN will be truckin’ on to Hinckley, Minnesota; Carmel, Indiana; and West Milford, West Virginia. Fucking L.A….we never get the good shows.